Embracing Shadow Work Overcoming Old Patterns and Triggers to Lead from The Core
How to recognize triggers and hidden behaviours as opportunities for deeper authenticity and holistic leadership
Introduction
In our previous newsletter, we explored how Spiritual Intelligence and a “Multiplier Mindset” can elevate team potential. But even the most self-aware leaders can be blindsided by old emotional patterns. Have you ever found yourself reverting to reactive habits under pressure—micromanaging, avoiding conflict, or shutting down? These triggers often point to aspects of ourselves we’ve yet to fully acknowledge.
In this issue of The Inner Compass, let’s dive deeper into shadow work—the process of recognizing and integrating the parts of ourselves that remain in the dark. By bringing these hidden patterns into the light, we can transform them into pathways for a more holistic, authentic leadership style.
Main Reflection: Triggers, Old Patterns, and the Shadow
Understanding the Shadow
In psychological terms (inspired by Carl Jung’s work), the shadow represents the aspects of ourselves we repress or deny—traits we may consider negative, embarrassing, or unworthy. Over time, these hidden parts can develop into triggers that surface during stress or conflict. They are often the very behaviours we try to hide: the urge to dominate a conversation, the fear of appearing “weak,” or the worry of being perceived as overly emotional.
Bringing the Shadow to Light
From a Spiritual Intelligence standpoint, facing our shadow is crucial. When we avoid acknowledging uncomfortable truths, we blind ourselves to opportunities for growth. Conversely, by shining a light on our personal shadows, we can:
- Recognize Repetitive Patterns: Pinpoint and name those old habits or responses that continually hold us back.
- Integrate Hidden Strengths: Sometimes what we consider a flaw (e.g., deep emotional sensitivity) can become a leadership asset if harnessed well.
- Move Toward Authentic Wholeness: Learning to work with—rather than against—our shadow fosters a cohesive, grounded leadership presence.
A Personal Example: Embracing Emotions
I am an empath—someone who operates primarily through feelings. For a long time, being labelled as “too emotional” was deeply triggering for me, especially in corporate environments where objective logic often takes precedence over heartfelt connection. I used to try to suppress or ignore what I was feeling, which only led to frustration and inauthentic interactions.
My turning point came when I started to work with emotional intelligence. I also encountered Dan Millman’s Laws of Spirit, particularly the Law of Flexibility, which teaches us to flow with life’s forces instead of resisting them. According to Dan Millman, “flexibility avails us far more than either passivity or resistance”. By recognizing that my emotions were not liabilities but valuable signals, signals that help me operate at my best as all of me is at work. I began to do the shadow work of asking, “What is this feeling telling me?” and “How can I leverage this emotional insight to better lead and connect?”
By consciously acknowledging and integrating my emotional side—rather than hiding it—I discovered a remarkable strength: empathy as a leadership advantage. Now, when strong feelings emerge, I pause, reflect, and allow the Law of Flexibility to guide my response. This shift transformed what I once saw as a flaw, into a powerful tool for authentic communication, deeper collaboration, and compassionate decision-making.
Practical Techniques
- Name the Shadow Spend time reflecting on a behaviour or emotional pattern that surfaces under stress. Ask, “What fear or hidden need might be driving this?”. Confronting it and naming it removes the hold it has on you.
- Embrace, Don’t Erase The goal isn’t to judge or banish the shadow but to integrate it. There is nothing to be ashamed of here, we are the sum total of our experiences. Consider how a perceived flaw (e.g., being too emotional) can become a source of strength.
- Practice STOP If you sense a trigger arising, remember Wendy Palmer’s STOP method—Stop, Take a breath, Observe (what’s happening), Proceed (with intention).
- Ally With a Mentor or Coach An outside perspective can help you see patterns you’re too close to. Share your experiences with someone you trust or consider the services of a coach.
Actionable Tip: Shadow Work Journaling Prompt
- Identify a Trigger: Recall a recent stressful moment at work and the emotion it stirred.
- Explore the Shadow: Write freely about any fears, beliefs, or memories linked to that reaction.
- Reframe & Integrate: Ask, “How can this aspect of me be a benefit in my leadership? What new choices can I make next time?”
Closing Thoughts
Old patterns can be deeply ingrained, but they don’t have to define us. By embracing shadow work, we transform painful triggers into powerful growth tools—both in leadership and in life. Each time we face a hidden fear or tendency, we gain another piece of the puzzle that makes us whole, authentic, and capable of leading with a grounded spiritual core.
Thank you for reading this third issue of The Inner Compass. I’d love to hear your thoughts on shadow work in leadership—have you noticed any “shadow” behaviours or triggers that keep resurfacing, and how do you navigate them? Share in the comments below!
Stay Connected
- Comment Below: How do you see emotions or other “shadow” traits influencing your leadership style?
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Remember, true transformation often starts in the shadows—where the seed of our next breakthrough is quietly waiting to grow.
